Bit of a rant here. Apologies in advance.
Yesterday, I was watching a movie with the love of my life. That’s not what this rant is about. The movie was hokey and sweet. That’s not what this rant is about. At one point in the movie, one of the characters was attending a men’s counseling group and there was some dialog which this rant is about.
The guy leading the men’s group was posing some questions to the group. “Who do you identify as?”, and “Who do you want to show up as?”, and so on. The thing that got my hackles raised was who is the “you” doing the identifying? Who is the “you” showing up? Why are these questions so rarely raised in mainstream entertainment? The very question of who is the one who identifies was burned into my brain since when was five years old. It’s the one thing I chased after for most of my life. Once I found a way to get at that question, the relief was profound. Life has challenges. Every damn day. However, knowing who the challenges are actually showing up for changes the entire relationship with life. Things may be frustrating. Life may be sad. Challenges may hurt. Once you know who you actually are, the feeling of being at risk fades away. It’s only when we think of ourselves as our identity, or as how we show up, that life can really hurt. What I don’t understand is why such a notion is not part of the normal education of human beings.
This sort of inquiry is relegated to the fringes of society, in nearly all cases. I just don’t get it. Of course part of my having that feeling is due to the simple fact that such inquiry is important to me, and it’s human nature to be confused when other people don’t share our concerns. I get that. But, still … Gah! Why bother spending time with questions about who you want to identify as when you don’t even bother to look into who is the you doing that? Double-Gah!
Okay, rant over (for now.) Happy Valentine’s Day!