“To say ‘I love you’ one must know first how to say the ‘I’.”
~ Ayn Rand, 20th century philosopher from The Fountainhead
Everything we do in life is built upon one foundation. Every thought, every action, every experience, every story comes down to one seed. That seed is “I.” Everything in existence, that we are involved in, springs from or is directly related to, “I.”
This “I” comes before every thought we have about ourselves. Every opinion we profess. Every name we give. It is at the forefront of whenever we see a form and assess its nature and purpose. In every relationship of every kind, whether to ourselves, an object, or another “I”, is founded on our thought of “I.” We can say nothing of ourselves without this “I.”
This is all a no-brainer, and painfully obvious, and not terribly interesting because it is so ordinary and banal. I am an “I.” Yeah? So what? No big deal.
The big deal comes when we realize that we have no idea what this “I” is. All of our self-identifications come after this “I.” “I am cute.” “I am a tech support rep.” “I am a good driver.” “I am am loyal friend.” All of those statements, the ones after the “I”, don’t actually say what that “I” is, they tell a story about that “I.” I can go to great lengths describing Sarnath in India to you, but you will never know it until you have been. And, of course you will then only have a new story in relation to your “I.” This “I” is our basis, but we go through life telling stories about it, rather than finding out what it actually is.
Since it is so much the basis of our lives, I think that this quest is the most basic (and important) one available. Without knowing this “I”, the root of it, the source of it, I will never be able to do more than tell a story about my “I”, to myself or anyone else.
We live our live trying very hard to make the story that comes after “I”, acceptable, useful, successful and beautiful, without really knowing what this spring board is.
What is this “I?”
That question (in hundreds of forms) forms the core of almost all spiritual paths and is the heart seed of Atma-Vichara (self-inquiry) as given by Ramana Maharshi. The answer to that question is the final goal, the only goal that concerns reality. Without it, we live our lives as stories only, never knowing what “I” am.
