Posts Tagged ‘Distinctions’

A Small Conversation That Changed My Life


20 May

A long time ago, in a body far, far away…

As you may know from my blog I am a fan of 1,000 day vows.  My first one was to do Tai Chi every day, without exception, for 1,000 days.  As you might imagine there were some challenges along the way.

The challenges came in many forms, but a little over half way through, 521 days in to be exact, I was feeling a bit despondent about the whole thing.  I was 22 years old at the time and at a party.  As I sipped my beer I spoke with a dear friend, confiding in her my feelings that it really didn’t actually matter.  I mused that if I stopped the only one who might notice was me. I was feeling pretty blue about the whole thing.

She offered several counter arguments, but the one that got me was this, “If you stop now you will lose all that time and you would have to start from day 1 if you ever decided to do it again in the future.” (That’s not an exact quote.  My memory is not that good.)

That got me.  It called on a central character trait I used to consider a flaw, but now consider a strength: laziness. It may not seem lazy to have decided to forge ahead for another 479 days of Tai Chi, but the truth is I never wanted to face another 1,000!

It got me through.  Of course I did do another 1,000 day vow later in life, but that was for meditation so at least I got to sit through it.  ;)

A Little Dab Will Do Ya


12 May

I have been reading Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Body on my Kindle and loving it!

On great take away so far has to do with not sabotaging our exercise goals at the outset.  We have all had those moments (many times!) where we get pumped about getting fit and commit to an exercise regime we believe will get us into great shape. The trouble is that we often over-commit and set ourselves up for failure.  Let’s say we become convinced that walking daily would be the best thing ever.  (EVAR!!!)  We jump right in and promise ourselves that we will walk 30 minutes a day, every day, until we are lean and ripped and desired by everyone we meet.  We know, from past failed attempts, that externalizing that promise helps keep us accountable so we blog it, journal it, write it on post-its and stick them on the refrigerator door and the bathroom mirror.  We tell our friends and family and every stranger we can pin down for 2 minutes.  Then we get to it.  Right there we hit a problem.  Going from 0 to 30 minutes a day is a leap!  We aren’t clear on where to fit it in.  We had that thing to do, and that meeting, and we’ll need new shoes… etc.

In short – we bite off more than we can chew.

Now, I know that 30 minutes a day is not actually all that much.  Especially when compared to the benefits.  But, if we go whole hog out the gate we are asking to fail.

Tim’s advice on this matter is simple – Don’t set a time goal.  Set a frequency goal and then do what you can.  Walking intentionally every day is a really good idea.  Just start there, nothing more.  Put on your shoes, walk out the door, circle the block and come back.  5 minutes, no big whup.

Make a daily habit of doing X, not doing X for time interval Y.

Genius.

This is a much better way to set ourselves up for success.  It also allows for healthy variance.  We might not be able to get in 30 minutes on a given day.  But, chances are we can get in 2.  Just walk to the corner and back and then celebrate the awesomeness of you since you are, in fact, keeping to your goal.

This dove-tails nicely with my love of Wilson’s 23rd law.

Set yourself up for success.  Take a small nibble.  I am confident that in short-order you will be rocking that walking hard!

Cheers!

P.S. – I went out for a 5 minute walk today and enjoyed the heck out of my 24 minute stroll.  ;)

Tip For Getting Out Of The Then


11 May

A friend asked me this morning for a practice for staying out of thoughts about the past, and spinning out on hyper-analytical dissection of previous events.  In other words, “getting out of the then.”  I thought others might dig it and find it useful, so here it is:

Steps for getting back to here and now:

  1. Take a breath. A nice deep long one like all the books on relaxation tell you to.  Inhale slowly, pause for a heart beat and the exhale gentle and long and deep.
  2. Scan the body. From mindfulness-style meditation do a scan, top to bottom, or bottom to top of the sensations in your body, not your mind.
  3. Ask yourself, “What is actually happening right now?” Then answer the question with the first impression that makes itself known.  This morning when I did that the answer was, “Soft light coming in through the window.”

That’s it.  The real secret is to make this a habit.  When we have a habit of past-sifting or future-tripping, the solution (like for all habits) is to employ a counter-habit.  Use a practice regularly enough that it becomes something we do naturally.  Eventually, in this way, the new habit will overtake the old one.

We are creatures of habit, and we can use that to our advantage!

Find a habit you don’t like and give it the one-two combination of a conscious and planned counter-habit repeated many times.

Cheers!

Cooperation, You’re Built To Be Doing It


09 May

Here’s an excerpt from a transcript of an interview on Oprah:

“If you talk to people in aboriginal or indigenous cultures, you find the highest societal values is cooperation. And competition is a very low value. And competition beyond certain boundaries is considered mental illness,” says author Thom Hartmann in I Am. “You look at our culture, and cooperation is considered a relatively low value. And competition is considered the highest value. We celebrate the most powerful competitors.”

But is competition the true essence of human nature? Thom says that scientists decided to test this hypothesis and found that it is not.

“What [scientists] found was that democracy was being played out literally every day by … animals,” Thom says. He recalls his own experiences of going scuba diving and seeing schools of fish dart around as a collective group, and also remembers watching flocks of birds in his backyard fly together and change directions suddenly while still remaining together.

“How did they know?” Thom asks. “Well, it turns out, when you do the slow-motion photography, they’re all voting literally with every wing beat or with every gill beat. They’re voting hundreds of times a minute. And [the scientists] said, ‘We found this from insects all the way up to primates.’ The basis of nature is cooperation and democracy. It’s in our DNA.”

For me this brings up one of the core arguments of the Atma Vichara practice; namely that the cause of a great many dysfunctions in our lives is being attached to the idea that what we really are is these separate individual lives.  Once that lie has been swallowed we cut ourselves off from life, along with each other.  The world at large then becomes “the other” and is filled with danger and competition.  We set ourselves against basically everything else.  Even those we have a seeming alliance with (friends, family, loved ones, co-workers) are kept at a distance with one eye on their activities as we remain ever watchful of betrayal.

That seed of poison fouls the whole works.  If we step back from that assumption for just a moment it begins to fall apart.  As I was reading the above article I was eating a sandwich I’d made for lunch.  Examining that sandwich just slightly past the level of raw appearance reveals an infinitely complex wed of interrelations with every part of the world and even the cosmos.  From the milk harvested for the cheese, to the workers gathering the grain for the bread, to the trucker who brought the avocado to my local store, to the sun which fuels the whole process at very few degrees of separation, to the oscillation of our solar system within the Milky Way.  All is connected in a web of interdependence and interrelations not because they are separate components working together but truly because reality is complete and ultimately one.

P.S. – It was a damn fine sandwich!

Keep These In Your Pocket


28 Apr

Life can be tough to navigate and deal with sometimes.  For my money it’s a good idea to have some tools & tricks to deal with the bugger when it goes pear-shaped, or gets weird.

I once read that the reason why Buddhism is given in lists (4 noble truths, 8 fold path, 3 root poisons, etc) is because the Buddha taught before such things were written down, and it is easier to remember lists.  Being as I have a terrible memory, I can really get behind the idea of keeping it simple.

To that end I think there are a few things everyone could use to keep handy.

A way to keep fit that you enjoy. For me that’s Aikido and Tai Chi.  Those have the added bonus of keeping me a bit safer too.  Tai Chi is awesome for its portability.  I also collect odd body-weight exercises that I can always do should I need a quick workout.

Some level of knowledge of how to keep your system fueled. Here I am thinking about a modicum of knowledge about food and how to make healthy choices.  I also have a simple food-plan I picked up from my active time in OA – three meals a day, no snacks, no sweets, no peanut butter, no pizza.  That combined with a basic fear of fast food keeps me well fueled.

A philosophical model/modality that helps you get through life. I keep a few basic truisms close to hand – “The map is not the territory”, “Opinion is not fact”, “We all see through our own distinct reality-tunnels”, and my personal favorite, “All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.”  I also like, “Don’t be that guy”, and (thanks to Diane) “Just be cool, dude.”  I also like Buddhism for compactness and a basic strong grounding in psychology, Taoism for simplicity, and the Integral Model for catch all applicability/orientation.

A way to connect to the truth. Atma Vichara and Meditation are my mainstays here. Atma Vichara you can find out about (my take on it) here.  For Meditation you can poke around my tagged posts here.  The vichara gets me zeroed in on the basic truth of what I am, and by extension since there really is not-two in this reality, the truth of everything.  That may be a bold statement, but luckily the truth cannot be spoken so i don’t have to bother to try.  ;)   Meditation helps me develop equanimity and sharpens my awareness.  Two very useful skills for dealing with this wacky world.

What are some of your tools for getting along in life?  I would love to hear them!

Cheers!

Travis Eneix

Dedicated to looking at the self.