Kudos again to Leo, over at ZenHabits. He posted a great article today – 25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence
Coincidentally I was reading an article about self-esteem over the weekend in What is Enlightenment? magazine. It was a piece by Maura R. O’Connor – “Are We Feeling Too Good about Ourselves for Our Own Good?” In the article she discusses the origins of the term self-esteem. The phrase was first coined by William James in 1890. It was a measure of number of successes of personally important goals versus failures of same. In other words, self-esteem was seen to be built up by success, and eroded by failure.
The concept was embraced in the circles of psychology in the mid 60’s, and slowly morphed over the years to the point that it’s meaning was reversed. Self-Esteem became a component cause of success, rather than a result. Parents were encouraged to laud their children, telling them how inherently special and important they are to build self-esteem. The result was not what was hope for. Instead of producing a generation of star performers, a generation of entitlement was produced. Kids no longer felt as much need to prove themselves because they were already special, unique, important. Instead of earning self-esteem, its after effects were pre-given. This sets up a seriously deep level of disillusionment as the children grow into adulthood either not bothering to make effort, or being terribly confused when that effort meets with failure (which is statistically bound to happen to everyone and is a natural part of the learning process) and lie is given to the idea that they are already great. It leads to a breakdown in inherent trust for early authority figures, and leaves one ill equipped to recover from the occasional set back. Then, a vicious circle gets up as the false foundations of self-esteem are revealed as pipe dreams and the adult must now come to grips with the fact that success is not inherent.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I do truly believe that each and every emergent form of Spirit is inherently important and capable of great things, but I don’t believe that those great thing must occur as a matter of course. I consider myself a victim of the above cycle, in gross and subtle ways, and I see it in many of my peers.
Because of the reversal of the meaning of self-esteem, and it’s nearly global application in this country, we have been left as a generation of people who either promise far in excess of our capabilities, feel no need to prove ourselves ever, or become bitterly resentful of unfulfilled promises on a subconscious level built on hollow hopes.
For my money, the tips Leo gave about achieving small goals are the best bet (14, 15, 20, 22, & 24). Self-esteem is a measure of overall success, and adding to the pile of things to be proud about will have a snowballing effect.
Stumble it!
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