We all get these doing this Awakening stuff. I had one the other day I wanted to share. I have been working with the Self-Inquiry taught by Ramana Maharshi and championed in the modern day by John Sherman, with a side order of the Headless Way as pioneered by Douglas Harding.
I’ve posted before about the mantra I have been using for my practice here. My mantra is this, “If I can see it, it is not me.” See in this instance stands for being aware of rather than literal seeing, but, “If I can be aware of it, it is not me” doesn’t roll off the tongue as well. This mantra helps me push back into the ground of being, and up to the next stage of integrated awareness.
So, the other day I was running this mantra during my daily morning meditation and a realization came to me. I am aware of being aware. This snapped me into a big moment of, “I am…” and just that. For a timeless time the tumult of thoughts that regularly follows the internal, “I am” stopped. I just am. Nothing special about that, just present. Ordinary.
It occurs to me that the Ego that the spiritual path is so concerned about, the thing that needs to be fixed or dealt with before we can be just what we are, is only the perfectly innocent result of having been born into this world of Form as a distinct Form. The ego is just the function of a distinct body-mind. It doesn’t change the fact that I am, one iota. No harm in that, and only suffering, really, when I struggle with it. It’s like the cute little puppy who gets startled by the sight of his own tail, and wanting desperately to make friends and sniff the backside of a potential new pal, whirls in circles getting more and more bothered until he collapses in a pile of dizziness.
Stumble it!
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