Archive for the ‘Atma Vichara’ Category

The Meaninglessness Of This Here Now


05 Jan

There is a funny little thing about meaning.  It’s not inherent.  Nothing means anything until after we experience, asses, label and judge it.  We drive down the road and there is a sign.  That sign does not mean that this is an intersection where we should stop until we have experienced the sign, remembered what it symbolizes, and brought up the associated meaning.  It is only at that last point that the shape and contrasting colors mean anything.

The same is true of expressions that cross our loved ones faces, turns of phrase, language in general and the announcement of a sale at Macy’s.

Nothing has meaning until after we assign it, consciously or unconsciously.  When I took Landmark Education’s Forum weekend one of the important distinctions I learned was that the human brain is, essentially, a meaning making machine.  (I personally cannot recommend the Forum enough, and cannot recommend Landmark Education as a life choice at all.  I am very grateful for what I learned, and very grateful that I got out before I sank too far into the cult which Landmark education ultimately is.)

Meaning always comes after an occasion, after an experience, after an event.

That means that this very moment, as it is, has no meaning whatsoever.  It is only once it has passed that meaning arises.  In this present moment we are utterly free of meaning and restriction.  Now is only as it is.

Within that instant of freedom we can bask…. but just for now.  ;)

Living A Disproved Life


18 Sep

Robert Anton Wilson is one of my favorite authors, social commentators, and American mystics.  His writing always manages to entertain, inform, and illuminate my gray matter.  In the first chapter of Prometheus Rising is an amazing essay: The Thinker & The Prover.

Using that essay as a jump off point I would like to talk about a practice I have been engaged in over the last year, namely: Living a disproved life.

Wilson shows that we go through our lives amidst a sort of self-reinforcing feedback loop.  We hold certain thoughts/opinions and then filter out those phenomenon which stand at odds with our convictions while focusing on those experiences which reinforce our beliefs.

The result is a vicious circle of self-perpetuating mental fortifications which cut us off from a clean view of any reality-possibility which lies outside of that parameter.  This makes it very easy to grow ever more stuck in our mental ruts, and ever more difficult to interact with (or perceive) that which is outside of those ruts.

My father has this lovely habit of asking people for clarifications.  When he doesn’t understand what someone meant, he has no bones of cutting in with, “Hold on.  I think you meant X, when you said Y.  Or, did you mean Z?”  Once the person has clarified their point he’ll thank them with an, “Okay, good.  Got it.  Thanks.” and then he’ll eagerly prompt the person to continue.

To me this is a habitual questioning of the Prover.  For the last couple of years I have tried to build the habit of putting the Prover aside consciously from time to time (when it occurs to me to do so) and to keep the volume on the internal Prover-voice as low as possible.  Like with any habit it has been slow going, but the changes have been remarkable for me, and I think a little noticeable to others.  In any event it has reduced my self generating stress by letting me spend less energy in trying to find ways that I am right.

(DISCLAIMER: It has been a sloooooooow process. ;) )

One of the main distinctions of the spiritual practice I follow (atma vichara) is that anything said (either internally or externally) in regards to you is something said about you.  If you say to yourself that you are stubborn, that is not a pointer to you but a commentary about you.  These things are characteristics, not inherent to you. Your stubbornness is not what you are, it’s a way in which you show up in the world, a habit, a characteristic behavior.

Looking at Wilson’s point we can see that we self apply the Thinker-Prover mechanism.  We come to believe that we are the things said about us (either by other, or ourselves.)  None of that’s true, it’s just commentary.

So, I think that living a disproved life is an effective way of letting more of what we truly are shine through, and I aim to prove it.

Cheers!

Religion for Modernity


14 Aug

The great gift of Modernity was the differentiation of the three primary spheres of human concern: the I, We, and It realms also known as the Beautiful, the Good, and the True. The disaster was the realm of the True being so convenient, successful, powerful and bratty that it collapsed the other two realms into the depth-less slate of scientific materialism. Still, the differentiation of the realms was a tremendous leap forward in the evolutionary unfolding of Reality.

It’s been of great interest to me lately to work with the different contours of those three realms as applicable to my own spiritual work. In that light I see that there are three basic gems in most of the world’s great religions and spiritual traditions which each apply to one of the three realms. Therefore I present the following list of tenets as the gift of modernity to religious belief (humbly of course. cool )

  1. Know thyself (the I/Beautiful realm)
  2. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (the Golden Rule of the We/Good realm)
  3. Pursue health (the It/True realm)

The healthy development of evolution is always a process of differentiate and integrate. Things go pathological when the integration step is missed and the process gets turned into discard and repress. In that light these three differentiated realms and core principles are to be kept distinct, but held together, informing and enriching each other in the free-flowing interplay of what is with what is.

What do you guys think?

The Great Answer(s)


24 Jul

Life is a mystery. That much seems certain. No matter how you look at it, eventually you come up against a wall of “I don’t know.” That’s what the mystics through the ages have told us. Still, we keep looking, hoping to find some great answer to the question life presents.

The funny thing about questions, and answers, is they can be very different depending on how you ask them, who you ask, where the asking is coming from (it’s underlying motivations, concepts and context), and where it is going to. The same question asked from different places has a very different feel, and possibly different answers.

I propose the following as a model of determining the answers that could be given to the great question of life. It is based off of the types of bodies used in Advaita Vedanta exploration and inquiry. Note that in Vedanta, “body” does not necessarily mean the flesh and bone. It means the energetic/physical/emotional/spiritual structure of a certain level of consciousness.

First up we have the Gross Body. The gross body is the body of flesh and bone that immediately comes to mind when we say “body.” It includes the brain, the physical component of what we call the “mind.” It is typified by the waking state of consciousness, and is our work-a-day interface with the world. The concerns of this “body” are the concerns of the animal, namely: Security, Food, Reproduction and Shelter. When one of these concerns is in question, the instinct driven gross body is concerned with fulfilling that need. When they are all fulfilled, and not in immediate danger, the gross body can relax. It’s questions are answered, and in a word the answer is – Comfort. When one is not hungry, not in immediate threat, not exposed to dangerous environmental conditions, and when the continuation of the species is not in imminent question, the gross body is comfortable and at peace.

Next up, the Subtle Body. This is the body of the intellect, dreams, and planning. It is typified by the dreaming state, but note that day dreams and imagination is also covered under the umbrella of the subtle body. The typical term applied here is mind, but the full support for the functioning of this body extends beyond the physical organ of the brain. In order for this body to exist the energetic support of the whole organism is needed, and research is showing that the energetic presence of this body extends beyond the limits of the skin. The concerns of this body are ones of planning, dreaming, goal setting, and analyzing of input. Thinking and inquiring. The interesting, and unique factor about this body is that its answers to its concerns are: more questions. Almost as soon as we learn to speak, the bane of parents the world over is on our lips from waking to sleep, “Why?” We want to explore the realm of thoughts and concepts with a passion, always digging deeper. “But, why? But, why? But, why?” The font of questions is never exhausted. As we grow the questions become more sophisticated, but they don’t go away. Every “answer” always seems to lead to more questions in the realm of the subtle body. As we become indoctrinated adults, conforming to the accepted social/cultural norms of our time and place we may bury some of these questions, but the dirt covering them is always thin and rarely well compacted. The questions crouch ready to burst free at a moments notice.

Socrates is the paragon of this mind, never deadened by “growing up.” He was an absolute devotee of the question. His end is a wonderful illustration of the power of questions, and the possibility of upsetting apple carts with them.

Now we come to the Causal Body. This is the body of raw being. Pure suchness. The very fact that you are. It is typified by the state of deep sleep. The common experience is that we experience nothing in this state, since there are no object here (unlike the toe stubbing rocks of the gross body/waking realm, and the neon glowing rocks of the subtle body/dreaming realm) there is nothing to form memory with. However, when seekers would bring their doubts of the validity of this realm to the sage Ramana Maharshi, he would respond with, “If you have no perception in the deep sleep state, how is it that when you wake you can say you slept well?” Something continues through this state, some thread of knowing, the subtlest expression of, “I am”, “I exist.” It is that continuity which makes up the experience of these individual unique lives. Long term meditators (those with 10-20 thousand hours of accumulated practice) and/or enlightened humans sometimes report a phenomenon of a continuing awareness that penetrates even into this realm. What most of us must be satisfied with is a vague pleasantness of a night spent sleeping safely.

Here the question is one of pure existence. Continuity of the individual self as a unique expression of reality. The answer is presence. That fundamental knowing that “I am”, the raw feeling of being you without reference to any memory, circumstance, or context. As long as that is so, the question is answered.

Now we start getting spooky. The next “body” on the Advaita Vedanta scale of things is called Turiya. Literally it means, “the fourth”, often referred to as the witness. It is the body which witnesses all the other states. This is the capacity to know that I am comfortable, I have questions, and I am. The unique facet of this body is that anything which appears within it cannot be it. If it is seen, it is not you as the witness.

The only question here is, is something occurring? The answer is silence. The witness has nothing with which to speak, or formulate an answer because anything which could speak, or formulate is something which can be seen and therefore is not the witness. Silence; vast, simple, embracing, complete is the expression of Turiya. It is the void and silence which allows everything else to be.

Thirty spokes converge upon a single hub; It is on the hole in the center that the use of the cart hinges. We make a bowl or cup from a lump of clay; It is the empty space within the vessel that makes it useful. We make doors and windows for a room; It is the empty spaces that make the room livable. Thus, take advantage of what is visible, by making use of what is not visible. ~ Lao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching

Last we come to the most tenuous, and most absolute. Even talking about this body is actually impossible. We have to be happy with approximations. This is the “body” of Turiya-tita, the non-dual. The stark reality of not-two. This is the truth of all of reality, swallowed in one gulp. Nothing left out, nothing excluded, no boundaries. All of what is, no parts, only portions. The witness and what is witnessed felt through as inseparable. Just this. It. What is. Here there is no answer, because there are no questions. There is nothing outside of, or in addition to what is so how could a question even arise. Just suchness, the paper upon which all words are written.

So, there you have it in a nutshell. The great answers to the great questions of each facet of this wonderful reality from the totality all the way through to a unique individual self manifesting as a human being.

If you are relatively comfortable, know that you are, are aware of the space between objects and the silence between sounds, exist as a portion of what is, and still have questions then all your questions are answered.

Easy speezy!

I have tons of questions, and love them. I’d love to hear yours, or your comments, or whatever. Until we meet again, cheers!

Enlightenment (whatever that means)


16 Jul

Warning: What follows is a bit of a rant. If that’s not your vibe as of this now, move along. Have a great day! ;)

First, for the non-rant. Check out this cool article over at Thank God for Evolution, Reality: God’s Secular Name. Most excellent. My favorite is the Philip K. Dick quote it opens with, “Reality is that which, when you stop believing it, doesn’t go away.”

Rant Begins

I have being seeing some version of the phrase, “Enlightenment (whatever that means)” with ever increasing frequency in the portions of the blogosphere, and the wider internet around which I stomp. Today I did a constrictive google search on the phrase and got 27,500 hits. Shiva knows how many I would get with a few variations thrown in.

In a word, I hate that phrase.It offends me on several levels. First, it is often used as a shield against debate, shared inquiry, questioning, or flat out BS calling. It’s a way to spout on with a facade of authority while remaining closed to (and defended against) differing opinions. I see it as a very cowardly way to share an opinion. (BTW – I have been guilty of using the phrase too, so don’t go hunting to find a quote to throw in my face because you will succeed. However, I saw the fence-sitting and wishy-washyness enough to stop using it. When I start using it again tomorrow you can wag your finger and say, “Hah!” Cool?) Personally, I prefer, “I have no real idea what enlightenment is, but here’s my take, FWIW.” (Your mileage may vary.)

Second, what the hell kind of good essay writing/theorizing do these people think they are engaging in? If you don’t have a good working definition for a term, don’t make it a corner stone of your point! Please!

Whatever that means? Well, I’ll tell you. Here are my personal working definitions. They are what I use to wrestle with the concept, and they have been most fruitful for me. Take ‘em, or leave ‘em. It’s all good. If you don’t like one of these (or if you do) I would love to hear your personal working definition in the comments.

  1. “Enlightenment is the real knowledge that you are a robot and have been programmed, and that you can re-program yourself according to your own true will.” The great thing about this definition is that it is not exclusive. It does not say that you cannot re-program your cultural and societal habitual behaviors (programming) without enlightenment. It does not say that enlightenment is required to know that you are a robot (to whatever level you accept that label) and are subject to programming. What it does say is that enlightenment changes knowing to “real knowing” or through-and-through final conviction and peace-making and acceptance of the situation. (“Balls to bones.”) It also does not say that once that real knowledge is in place that you suddenly become instantly re-habituated to perfect never flawed behaviors, just that you have a great opportunity (and leg-up) to get there.
  2. “Enlightenment is the dissolving of the lie that you are this individual life.” With the dissolution of that lie comes a great freedom to act. You no longer live your life driven at the core by worry and concern about living the right life, living the life you are living correctly, or ever-vigilant for the end of the life you are living. You are not the life, and living from that makes everything much better, across the board. It does not mean the dissolution of fear that a rabid dog is charging you, or that you may have hurt someone’s feelings deeply by something you said/did/failed to do, or that you may have screwed up your financial situation by missing a credit card payment, or that you are going to be late to the play. Those are all perfectly reasonable (and necessary) fears that arise within the life which you are experiencing, but which you fundamentally are not. Nothing that happens within the life hurts, or helps you even if it hurts, or helps the life. (Which is precious, BTW.)
  3. “Enlightenment is state in which anything said, or done, by a sage/saint/guru/master is as obviously so as your own breathing. It all makes total, and common-place, sense.” That does not mean you become instantly capable of saying or doing such things. It just means when you see, or hear them, you smile and nod with a soft inward, “Amen. Preach it, sister!”
  4. “Enlightenment is seeing that there is truly not-two, anywhere to be found.” When considering the totality of what is, it becomes apparent that nothing is ever added to what is from the outside. If it were then the place where the new stuff came from would also be part of what is. Likewise, nothing ever leaves what is. If it did, then where it went to would also be part of what is. What is, is in constant motion, to be sure, but it is all motion within the one thing which is.

Those are my current working definitions of what is fundamentally undefinable. Just like any term it exists for convenience (and not confusion damn it!), and is subject to change and evolution over time just like any term or thing. (Remember when “bad” did not possibly mean “good?”) Also, just like any word said ever, it’s an opinion. You can only ever speak about things, you cannot speak them into being so. The word enlightenment is just a word, and only useful insofar as it allows for effective and useful discourse. The state itself, just like the truth of a comfy cafe chair from which to issue forth blog rants, cannot be spoken into existence, it can only be spoken about.

Rant Ends

I freely claim, and assert the truth of all four of the above definitions within my own experience and life as being so and fully functional.

Cheers, and thanks for listening!

I eagerly await your commentary.

Travis Eneix

Dedicated to looking at the self.