I got to the church where the satsang was to occur, far to early. My wife needed to be dropped off at the Caltrain station for the 6:15 train to meet a friend for a date. That did not leave enough time to head back home, so over the bridge I went. Parking was far to convenient, and I ended up arriving at 6:40. The satsang was not scheduled to start until 7:30.

So, cappuccino was the first order of business. I found a mini-mall/courtyard type situation with food options galore, and one source of the sacred bean infusion; a gelato stand. The cappuccino was dandy, and I sipped as I waited in line for a restroom to kill more time and to avoid any fidgeting in the immediate future.

I got back to the church with an empty bladder, and fine mid-range tension of “wired” at 7 on the dot. A few people where milling about, and slowly started wandering in.

As I joined the small group and shuffled my way in I realized there was a pit of nervousness in my gut, and it dawned on me why. It’s like when you are hiking through a canyon and come across a cliff face that catches your eye and won’t let go. You take in the vision of it and then, without thinking about it, you start to walk toward it. You simply have to touch it. You have to take in the reality with more than the senses you started the exchange with. You have to verify the truth. It was like that with John.

I’ve heard that communication is only 10% the words used. Another 15% is tone and cadence of the speech used. The rest, they say, is body language. I have a firm suspicion that at least some of the 75% believed to be body language is, in fact, the energetic presence of the person. I have worked with John for nearly two years. All of that work has been through reading of transcriptions, listening to audio and video recordings, and speaking with him over the Internet. What I have come to see that is in part a result of working with John is nothing but real. Still, just like the cliff side I needed to get a full picture of the man. I needed to see first hand that what John sees is real for him. That’s a purely self-centered and subjective need, a need I fully admit I was bringing to the situation, but there it was. I have been to see a handful of teachers that I believe have authentic realizations about the truth of reality. Some of them have seem genuine. Some have not. That is also subjective opinion, but again, there it is.

All of that coalesced into my mind as I entered the small Unitarian church building. And, there was John. He was standing in the middle of the room, hands in pockets. He was smaller than I had imagined, and stooped with his age. His smile, shy and sweet, was in no way small.

We shuffled in and found our seats. I was amused by a drama of a group of five folks who had come together switch their seats four times, with much debate, until they finally settled into the pew in front of me. A short time later another woman came in and sat beside me. One of the spot-hoping crew in front recognized her from another spiritual group gathering and they started to chat. Turns out that of the group in front of me, two of the women had just come from an Adyashanti talk. They exchanged stories and recommendations, and the conversation had the feel of two old shoppers discussing where the best bargains in the mall were. They then began to speak about retreats and intensives they had gone on, “in their youth” with a wistful air of missing the “good old days.” Spirituality, like anything else in life we do to change the particulars of life, lends itself to that kind of bargain shopping and pleasant experience mentality.

After a while I noted a petite woman making her way back and forth, adjusting the sound system. I thought, “That must be Carla.” Carla is John’s wife and the technical brains behind the operation. From what I have gathered, John is fairly hopeless with computers, and Carla took it upon herself to learn website design and maintenance, as well as VOIP conferencing, and audio recording and editing skills to support the spread of John’s message. She too was smaller than I had imagined.

Once the church was moderately full, and 7:30 had arrived, John made his way to his director’s chair. He began speaking in a manner I have become accustomed too, but this time it was different for me. This time I could take in the whole package. Whether the message comes across well to everyone, or not, I have absolutely no doubt that JOhn is the real deal. The fearless he radiates is palpable. The vichara has definitely done its work, and delivered its promise, in his case.

After he delivered his message, once again, and extolled the group to pursue the frightfully easily practice of the Vichara, he called for anyone who wanted to speak with him. My arm did not go up fast enough, and I was treated to John sitting patiently and conversing with a nervous, but very sincere, little man who claimed to have “washed out” of Buddhist meditation practice. John’s treatment of this fragile little man was beautiful to watch, and the man left the encounter with a sincere taste of himself and a means to find it whenever he desired.

My arm shot up, but again too slow. This time the man who came up was in no way small. He was large both physically and energetically, and I recognized his voice from recordings of satsang on John’s site I had previously listened to. His style of sp each was slow and wandering and he is nervous in front of crowds, so his share was filled with sidetracks and false starts. It turns out that he had been a member of a cult years before, and had been thrown out. That experience had scared him and was part of the story he spoke through with John. He also managed to get John “all riled up” which caused a long diatribe from John that was very helpful, not just to the man with him, but to the crowd as well.

Again my arm shot up, but John looked at his watch and sighed. He said, “We’re kind of out of time. Will you be here tomorrow?”

I smiled back. “No, I can’t be.”

John smiled and looked over at Carla. “One more?”

Carla nodded but John seemed unconvinced. He does not like to put Carla through more work, and having another share probably meant that she would have to make two CDs of the session rather than one. But, Carla prompted him and finally John said, “Alright, one more.”

I leapt up from my seat, and into the seat beside John. As is his custom he immediately asked my name.

I said, “Travis.”

John smiled, “Hi, Travis. Oh! Travis!”

I heard Carla blurt out, “It’s Travis!”

I was a bit taken back. I had told John, and Carla, that I was coming to see them this night since they were going to be so close to my home on a couple of the online satsangs. They had said that they were looking forward to meeting me in person, but I was not sure they were too happy about the idea since my discussions with John have not always been smooth. We had never had anything close to a fight online, but I had occasionally voiced differing opinions about some of the ways John spoke about what he has seen as a result of the vichara. I thought they would be pleasant, but that was about it. Boy was I wrong! John’s face positively lit up. Carla later told me she cried a little when she realized it was me. It was like meeting family.

John and I spoke for a few moments. I kept it brief out of respect for Carla’s efforts. I went back to my seat amongst smiles and an incredibly warm feeling.

John riffed on what we had discussed for a few moments, and then wrapped things up.

After Carla made her announcements, and people started to mill about, several folks came up to me.

“You’re, Travis!” was the common phrase. These were folks who had attended some of the same online satsangs I had. I replied back with, “You’re, Vivek!”, “You’re, Sarah!”, “You’re, Mike!” It was a meeting in the flesh of a community I already had in digital. Amidst the meeting of these new/old friends, Carla pushed through the crowd and pulled me from my seat into an amazingly strong and warm hug.

Vivek, and I, exchanged email addresses, and we are in the very early stages of planning a get together of all the folks in the Bay Area who share an interest in the vichara, and in John’s way of communicating it.

All in all a fabulous and rewarding evening. And, a fine confirmation of what the vichara can do.