Self-Inquiry, the simple practice of looking at what you already are, just as you are is a strange beast sometimes. One of the important keys to the practice is to not look for specific results. Instead one should note when some result seems to happen due to the practice, but not make a big deal about it.
One such result occurred for me recently. The wondrous and frustrating thing about these outcomes is there is very often no rational way to come up with a reasonable chain of cause and effect to match the outcome with the practice. That can be weird, but you get used to it.
In this case the outcome showed itself while I was on the toilet. Sorry for the image, but a good many of my insights happen while in the bathroom, which may mean I spend too much time in the bathroom. In any event, there I was sitting quietly. I looked up and for just a moment had no idea what I was looking at. None. Complete blank. I registered something was there, but I had no words for it at all. Not just the object most directly in vision, but the whole scene. How it all “worked.” I had just long enough to think, “What the heck is that?” Then it all flooded in: blue, towel, hanging, wall, etc. The labels for what I was looking at flew in incredibly swiftly, but not swiftly enough to obliterate the memory of the moment of not knowing. I knew intellectually that this occurs all the time. Our minds constantly sort the incoming data our sense provide, form the various streams into a single picture, then apply labels and meanings from memory. This is the “world” we project on the world to allow for easy navigation and something like comprehension. I knew all that, but had not seen it for myself.
I can now see this “gap” whenever I choose to. The constant application of labels and meanings is now apparent. It often happens without my notice, but if I pay attention I can watch it occur. It is still very, very fast, and I cannot pick out distinct portions, but the process is revealed. Having that insight makes a lot of the funny little games we always play with the world just that; funny. Not so confusing, not so painful. This mapping of the world as it arises takes an effort. Now that I have seen it, I can lay that effort aside. Sometimes. The habit is so strong, and critical, that it has a force all its own. But, it can be quite a trip to walk down the street leaving the world a blank.
For myself, minding this gap has been very educational and useful. Try it, you might like it.
