Douglas Harding: Inside Information

I am what I look like. These six little words are big enough to cover the whole reason for our plight. They say it all. Or, to elaborate somewhat: I am here, for myself, what I look like over there, to you – as if our distance made no difference! On this morass you and I try to build our lives. No wonder they are cracking up. To render them safe and sound we must rebuild them on the bedrock of I am what I see I am here; what you see is just one of my regional appearances. I alone, at centre, am in a position to say what those myriad appearances are appearances of, and how different they all are from the one Reality that’s giving rise to them, from what I’m looking out of. On this I’m the sole and final authority. I have inside information denied to all outsiders. (Douglas Harding. Look For Yourself.)

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You’re A Priest, Huh?

Living in a big city comes with certain built in social interactions.  One is the obligatory requests for spare cigarettes, spare change, and offers of window washing that come with filling up your car with gas.  It’s such a normal part of the routine that it fades into the background in short order.

Lately though these moments of social intercourse had changed for me in a way I could not define at first.  When the person wanting a smoke/change/to clean my windows came from the front of my car the interaction proceeded in the manner I was used to.  But, when the approach was from the rear of my car the tone was demonstrably different.  Stories about life, commentaries on the state of the world, personal grievances, philosophical insights, and confessions of guilt would come along with the normal requests for charity or compensation for a minute’s work. I could not explain what the difference was even while the phenomenon was slowly becoming more noticeable.

The other day the difference was made clear.  The older, rail thin gentleman came to ask for spare change, approaching from the rear of the vehicle.  He opened the conversation with, “You’re a priest, huh?”

Then it hit me.  My bumper sticker.


Duh.  I had forgotten that sticker was there.  Truth is I am a priest of Dudesim. I am also a minister of the Universal Life Church, a priest of Spiritual Humanism and a Pope (but that’s in Discordianism where everyone is a Pope, which causes the title to perform the non-dual-like paradoxical function of being both the most and least important title of the set.)

I’ve been meditating daily for a while now.  One thing that extended meditation process does is allow you to better witness your own internal mental process.  That is not to say that you can do anything about it, but you can note its unfolding. As the man began to have a lighthearted conversation with me about life, the universe and everything, I noted the impact it was having on me.  This was serious.  This man was trusting me in the role I had advertised.  I freely admit that my ordinations were done half tongue-in-cheek, but only half.  The other half was called forward with a strong demand by this man’s trust that I was what I had identified as.

I listened with interest and openness as the man spoke.  The conversation was deep, not long, funny and touching.  I agreed where I agreed, and said “interesting” where it was.  I did not offer any advice as he had asked for none (for which I am extremely grateful.) I realized that my whole “job” in this interaction was simply to hold open a wide space for this human being to say things that he normally would not.  I’m not going to repeat them here, because I also recognized that a sacred trust had been evoked by the man, and I gladly honor that evocation.

As we parted we were both smiling and connecting with our eyes.  Two strangers who, for a brief moment on a Wednesday afternoon had touched that which is real in each other.

I’m thinking about putting another bumper sticker on the front of my car.  ;)

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Douglas Harding: Your Natural State

This business of having seen It first in the Himalayas is formalistic nonsense. (I was writing this for The Saturday Evening Post and its millions of readers.) The mark of people who really see Who they are here is that when they see it they say, Gosh, of course, I know this, this isn’t the first time, this is natural, this is obvious. This isn’t the first time. You can’t remember the first time because this is your natural state – to be capacious for what’s going on. (Interview with Douglas Harding. DVD)

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Douglas Harding: The Beginning Of Wonder

The little one’s knowledge is the ending of wonder. The Big One’s knowledge is the beginning of wonder. The little one is heady and knowing and smart. He’ll buy knowledge at the expense of mystery every time, and sooner or later it gives him a splitting headache. The Big One buys mystery at the expense of knowledge till all that’s left is the Mystery itself, the Perfectly-known-as-unknowable-Source that is the cure of all the headaches it gives rise to. (Douglas Harding. The Trial of the Man who said he was God.)

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Mantra: This is really happening

I am a big fan of mantras.  Specifically the ones I make up.  This one came to me the other day: “This is really happening.”  Like a lot of people I am afflicted with a streak of escapism/denial. When a situation is occurring that I would rather not be in (painful, embarrassing, terrifying, etc.) I float away in my mind to somewhere else, or spin up the machine of “I hate this, I wish I didn’t have to deal with this.” That denial sets up a doubly bad situation where there is both an unpleasant situation and I am unable to successfully process, or deal with, it as I am occupied with running away.

The other day I was in an Aikido class at my dojo.  The teacher for the evening Peter Ralls, is a fan of jumping jacks.  I am not.  They remind me of gym class in school when I was the fattest kid present and each jump made me horribly self-conscious in a negative way of my body and how it looked, reinforced of course by the laughter of the other children that would often ensue.  They also hurt my knees, which would quickly feel like they were going to collapse at any moment.  Even though I am much thinner now, and in much better physical condition with the knees Shiva gifts to most work horses, I immediately spun into all my negative associations when Peter started in with the jumping jacks.  From nowhere the thought came into my mind that “this is really happening.” Instantly my mind came back to where I actually was and what was actually happening: I was moving my body under my own control, no one was laughing, my knees were going into the best position out of the habit I had instilled in my body over years of patient dedicated practice, everyone present was focused on their own endeavors and (shock of all shocks) I enjoyed moving.

I’ve been experimenting with this little mantra since then and it’s been quite useful, I hope you find it useful as well.  I would also love to hear from you and hear some of your personal mantras in the comments below.  Maybe we could write a book about them or something.  ;)

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